So confused with what I want…
Hehe I was happy when you wanted to talk to me
i cheese non-stop when i watch them. XD (Source: musegee)
End of Freshman year
All the grades have came up and this marks the end of my freshman year. This year, there are things that changed about me and things that didn’t. For the first time in my life, living alone, away from the things and people that I was familiar with. From being scared of the loneliness and my inability to make friends to someone who simply didn’t care. There were times where I got along with my roommates/suitemates and then there was times that I didn’t like them at all. To a girl that usually stays home when she has nothing to do, to someone who goes to parties and clubs. My social skills are in every way still lacking but I believe that its been improving slowly. Then there are these small crushes that I have and the people that I kinda liked but still too afraid to completely trust them so the fact that I’m a scaredy cat really don’t change. I’m still the coward from a year ago. This year though, I’ve been dressing differently from how I dressed before. The girl that was afraid to wear short sleeves a year ago, now do. From someone who only wore jeans and t-shirts I became someone who dressed up way more than I did before. Perhaps, college did change me, as subtle as it may seems I still changed. Today, I’m still thinking about what I want to get out of college. What are my dreams? What will I become? I could stay up all night thinking about it but that’s just me going around in circles and never coming to a conclusion. People-wise, I’ve met a lot of great people and realized that some of the people who I consider to be my friends are the ones who are putting me down. I thought I was cautious enough about letting people into my heart but I guess I still trust people too easily. Relationships-wise. I’m still not in one or am I in a rush to get in one since I don’t think that relationships now will last anyway. I’m too confused about the things that I want and I like the simplicity of my life. Maybe, I’m too skeptical of all this but to me, love is simply hormones taking control of our brains. Things that can come and go as suddenly as it wants does not reallyy go well with my want for stability in my life.
so yeah…games are more entertaining…i see how this is…
makes me want to have a lot of moneeyyyyy xDD
I want itttt <3
Finally!
Going to be home in another couple hours! XD But then, I’m gonna be back in dreary Stony Brook in two weeks =( Ahh, why did I apply to take summer class. Well, on the bright side I don’t have to deal with Biology Lab in the Fall =D I probably won’t be on Facebook as much while I am home, which is a good thing, because I don’t want to talk to him everyday and get too attached. Well, PACKING is the most ANNOYING thing possible. I tried to stuff everything so that I don’t look like I’m moving a whole house home!!! I wish I didn’t have to bring everything back and forth like that. =_=” Well, right now, I just wanna be home, because my roommate is really upset about her biology grade and I am upset about mine too but her’s is worse. I think that if I were to be in her position I’d be crying too, but I’m just glad that it’s all over. I wonder if it makes me a bad person to be happy that it wasn’t me that’s crying over a grade this semester. I feel bad for her, but deep down I keep chanting “thank god it’s not me.” I am such a selfish person…
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